New Year 2009

2008 has been a crazy year. Where do I even begin.... with the loss of my grandfather, friends moving outta town, change of jobs, a bad break up and many other events. I'm glad that the year is over. Of course I'm thankful for everything that happened because it made me the person I am today. I believe that things happen for a reason and you will never get more than you can handle.

Now most people are going to make resolutions about what they are going to change for the new year. I really don't believe in doing that because most of the time they are broken with in the first month. Why do you have to wait until the new year to make changes in your life. You can wake up and see tomorrow that you wanna stop eating junk food and do it. You can only make change for yourself. And you certainly can't change for anyone.

If I were to entertain the thoughts of resolutions they would be the following: volunteer more, spend more time with my family, go back to school and live a healthier life. Even though I have gone to my moms school 2 times this year. I should try to go at least once a week. I actually enjoyed helping the kids and spending time with them. I spend time with my family but I don't think I should spend as much time with my mom as I should. I have want to spend more time with her. We barely see each other. We are both so busy so I have decided that once of a month we will have mommy and daughter day. Since I'm trying to get into modeling I need to tone up. I have been losing weight now I just need to get into the gym and tone myself up.

2009 is going to be the beginning of something big for me. I have 2 photo shoots in January and my friend Sarah and I plan on starting our own business with aspiring models. Which is also why I need to go back to school for business. I have a lot of plans for the New year and I can't wait to get started. I refuse to allow myself to accept the bs that I dealt with in 2008. I was you all a Happy New Year. Much love

Myspace Drama

I don't even know where to began...a female decided to write me on myspace. Now I'm really not the type to entertain these type of actions. But she basically tried to G check me. I understand why she may feel threatened by me because her man and I are extremely close. Him and I have been best friends and close to relations for 7 years now.

Him and I stopped taking for a few weeks and then on Christmas she decided to send me a message on myspace. The message stated the following " thanks for leaving my man alone and Merry Christmas." Now first of all who the fucked ends a message like that. If your gonna go hard then go hard. Don't try to add any niceness to it. So, after I read the message I just laughed. Stuff like this is funny to me. I not the type of female to do something like that. You have to be pretty insecure to search for the person on myspace and wrote them on some bull.

So I called him and asked him what the letter was all about. He didn't even know about it. So I sent him a screen shot...thank god for that option on kicks...lol. He called me back and said sorry on her behalf. I told him that I would leave it alone and not even respond back. Which is hard to believe because all my friends and I feel like she came at me wrong. I'm still not sure what makes me so mad about it...the fact that she wrote me or that she wrote me on Christmas.

Well, I ended up writing her back even though I shouldn't have. I was having a bad day and she caught me at the wrong time. I basically let her know what the deal was. So of course I'm waiting for her to respond back to me. I already know what she's gonna say. I'm mad at myself for even lowering myself to her level but at the same time I'm not going to allow anybody come at me wreckless.

This whole thing has put me outta my element. I don't have time for this. I'm moving on with my life and I don't have time for this petty drama. Him and I know what we have. I understand that many people don't get it but him and I do. He's just like me and I'm just like him...lol. So if your reading this you know the DEAL!!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and Santa was good to you. Much love...kisses

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to ALL!!! As you already know I don't want to celebrate but I'm doing it for my family. They are the most important people in my life. With out them I would be nothing. Oh and my amazing friends. I love you all. Thanks to everyone for all your support during this hard time. This is going to be a super short blog but I hope you all get what you want and enjoy the time you spend with your family. Much love to all. Muah!

Update

I just wanted to give my fellow blogheads an update on me. As always I'm spending a lot of time with my family and friends. I truly have the holiday blues. Its also hard not having my grandpa here this year. Plus my best friends moved up north and the won't be coming home for the holidays. So I don't want a Christmas tree. I don't feel like Christmas shopping and dealing with the lines. All in all I just wish I could skip the holidays this year. I'm trying to get into modeling for car shows and doing pin up. I'm just trying to eat right and exercise to make sure that my body will be looking right for my first photo shoot that will hopefully be in the next couple of weeks or in Jan. This has been something that I always wanted to get into and now I actually have the chance so I'm going to go for it. I still think I'm a little shy for it but a lot of people are encouraging me to model. So I will certainly keep you posted. Lovelife....where do I begin. Lately, I have been attracting guys with girlfriends and that isn't my style so I have to tell them to keep it moving. Plus the one guy that I actually think I can have something real with is playing games. He's with the chick one day and the next he isn't. So of course on his off days he's rapping in my ear telling me he loves me and stuff like that. My heart has been through so much this year I can't take it anymore. But I must admit there is a lot of sexy sexy men trying to holla lately. At least they gave me some kind of hope. Well that's basically it about me. 2009 is my time to shine. You will be hearing a lot of me in the coming years. I can't wait! Its truly time to show the world what I'm made of. Oh and my homegirl Nellz is writing a book called "the good life" check it out through blogpsot. She has madd talent...and I also expect great things from her in 2009 as well. Much love!

Brown Sugar

I MET THIS GIRL WHEN I WAS 10 YRS OLD AND WHAT I LOVED ABOUT HER SHE HAD SO MUCH SOUL SHE WAS OL' SCKOOL AND I WAS JUST A SHORTY NEVER KNEW THROUGHOUT MY LIFE THAT SHE WILL BE THERE FOR ME

So there's this guy that i have a lot of history wit. He means the world to me. He understands me in a way that no one else does. He makes me smile when all I wanna do is frown. All in all he is the right guy for me. Now I haven't always given him a fair chance and the saying is true you never know what you have until its gone. Now he has a girlfriend and isn't allowed to talk to me. We had this on going joke that we are each others Brown Sugar. Now if you haven't seen the movie then you have no clue what I'm talking about. Him and I have been very good friends for years now. When the world walks out on me he's always there by my side. He dates other people and I date other people but we always end up talking again. We have had feelings for each other since back in the day when we first started talking. Our feelings never change if anything they get stronger. So to my Brown Sugar...there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you....you are the perfect verse over a tight beat!


Here are some quotes from the movie:
*I don't know why your heart doesn't do what your mind tells it.


*When did you fall in love with Hip-Hop?


*Simplicity provides a fine line between elegance and plainness.


*You are the perfect verse over a tight beat.


*You're my air. . .


*You're my best friend, nobody believes in you more than I do.


*Just when you think you know hip hop it surprises you and reminds you why you fell in love with it in the first place.


*So what's the difference between rap and hip hop? It's simple. It's like sayin' you love somebody and bein' in love with somebody. Rap is only a word.


*Well if you hook up you get the best of both worlds, you get the buddy AND the booty!


*You know we all lookin for wifen material A woman thats fine smart classy but not a snob hella hella sexy but not a hoe thats brown sugar


...to hip hop. I loved you, I still do...and I always will.